When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I could fuck to npr.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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