Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i out mim tonsoeep
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