Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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