4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Success! We fucked roommates!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
