I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
