She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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