You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
