The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
