she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
