when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
