We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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