This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
