He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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