You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
