dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
