he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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