I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
