out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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