I feel like I'm in dance class right now
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
