the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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