Me too!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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