you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
