I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
