he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
