There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
