More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
