Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
