You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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