Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
