Heybabeimwearingurpanties
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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