I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
