I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
