You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
