Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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