last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
