So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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