So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
