I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
