i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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