i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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