Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
