I just pynch a tree in the face
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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