there was a trapeze. enough said
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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