Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
