don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
