Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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