You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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