I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
