i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
