Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
