i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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