There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
